So far we can ascertain...
A. If you have BT broadband, you will find it easier to say "yes you can" when step-daughter brings friends over to surf the net as your access is unlimited. What sort of high definition super-porn these 10 year old's are downloading is anyone's guess.
B. When you take your "once in a lifetime" job opportunity, and your new partner inevitably believes you to be a selfish twat, you can pacify her by talking over an some 2nd rate instant messaging service like MSN messenger or Skype. If you are foolish enough not to have BT Broadband in your new bachelor pad, you will definitely get cut off mid-way through tense negotiations thus incurring the wrath of previously mentioned piece of tang. Buying a woman's love is expensive; DON'T GET SHIT BROADBAND... Get BT.
C. Whilst negotiating your make and break last ditch pathetic attempt to win over your (admittedly quite fit) MILF for selfishly following your dream to EARN SOME FUCKING MONEY TO PAY HER FUCKING PHONE BILL, you will be kept awake at night by nightmares about how you tried to book plane tickets to Paris but the internet broke down halfway through. You'll wake up realising that, in fact, you can still buy her love back because you did book the tickets - It was all a dream silly: LUCKY YOU HAVE NOW FINALLY GOT BT BROADBAND (hopefully BT will continue down this route, Kris slowly being driven mad with nightmares; losing connection mid-wank or whilst buying a TWILIGHT BOOK or watching a fat kid fuck around with a pretend light-sabre on YouTube.)
D. The original dad is a BASTARD because he called his kid from a mobile phone. What the FUCKING HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS DOING???? He manages to finally absolve the situation by calling back in the evening and calling his daughter Lucy-Liu. Weird. Of course he is forgiven for this, as he is obviously near to suicide through the stresses of working in a high powered job as a corporate whore. Now I'm beginning to understand the MILF's mentality. She wants a massive house, not to work and for her child to be able to have unhindered access to pornography at all times of the day. BUT IF YOU WANT TO GO TO WORK SHE WILL LEAVE YOU.
E. Everyone at BT thinks that a phone and the internet will solve all of your problems.
F. This has inadvertently turned what probably was started as a genuine attempt to mix modern family life problems with moral issues into a stereotype reinforcing torrent of diarrhoea.
G. I probably should turn the sound down during ad breaks.
